Thursday, June 29, 2006

Good Insignificance!!!!

“Amrya… You feel insignificant re there”….
This is what a friend of mine told me when we were talking about Mumbai.
It was a Thursday, a weekday when I went to Mumbai. It was hot and humid. I had a rendezvous with some friends of mine there.
I will just quickly outline some places and matter I encountered in Mumbai in the short stay of around 8 hours…

Dadar….VT…Church Gate….Fashion Street…Bargaining…Azad Maidan…Red Flag…Taxi… Marine Drive… Queens Necklace… BCCI…Local…..




Queen's Necklace

Well these just a few things I remember right now.
Usually when a person walks around in scorching heat and humidity greater than 50% he sweats likes a fish and is uncomfortable.
I did sweat but wasn't really uncomfortable.
Let me try to explain why I wrote that first line in the blog.
The pace at which Mumbai moves is awesome. I don’t know how people manage to move that fast. Like living in a matrix. Everything is programmed. I also had the first hand experience of the crowded local train. You need not have to push around to get down. Just stand in the queue of the passengers getting down at say Dadar and you will automatically get down the train. It is that simple.
Mumbai is a dangerous place is what everyone like to say, well for me it was a myth. I went to the marine drive and sat on the sea shore there watching the Mumbai traffic moving and trying to make sense. You look around and you are totally lost. There is a sea on one end of where I am sitting; the Arabian Sea and on the other side is the Mumbai sea; the sea of big and small cars, busses zooming around from all direction. The traffic never came to a halt. I sat there marveled by the pace; marveled by the gigantic seas. One full of water another full of people and cars and poor me am sitting in the middle of these two as if stranded in an island nowhere to go. Generally one must feel sad about this situation, but interestingly I liked this feeling. I liked being insignificant. As my friend put it, “I love being insignificant. It gives me a feeling that I can be better than what I am right now. I work harder!!!”
I could make sense of the first statement of this blog only when I felt insignificant and why my friend was so jubilant when she made that statement.
Mumbai for me for now… Rocks!!!!

Friday, June 02, 2006

And Suddenly....

Life was going down, there was darkness all around me and suddenly….
And Suddenly I saw Dawn…
I have been working for the most respected Indian IT company for almost 20 months now. In all these 20 months, my faith and respect for my company somehow kept on dwindling. I mean as an employee not as an investor of course.
I still remember, May 18th a Thursday. Bedi, Amit and I were standing near KD circle drinking tea. I got a call from a Bangalore number. She said, she is calling from SAP and would I be interested in an opening in SAP. I couldn’t make a split second decision. Fright or whatever stopped me. I said I shall let her know tomorrow. I was an asshole I must say!!! I remembered Anisha telling me about that. She had forwarded Sid’s and my resume to a specific department in SAP.
Anyway, even Bedi got the call. He immediately accepted. I being a paranoid first wanted to consult someone on that before taking decision. When will I stop depending!!!!
Okay, anyway I did call up Anisha and took a thorough interview about the department. I was satisfied. I thought now I will get a mail from SAP and I can reply saying I am interested. I felt good and went to Bedi’s house… I don’t remember the rest.
Next day, I sat in anticipation of the e-mail from SAP. Bedi had already received the e-mail. I was feeling like an ass. Somehow, I was thinking very clear. I took the mail id of the SAP contact from Sid and sent an e-mail stating my interest. To my luck I did get the reply back very soon. I thought, better late then never!!! It was decided…
We were going to Blore next day Saturday. I know how I spent the Friday. I wanted to read. Crap, I couldn’t read a single line. We did discuss about PLM a lot with Amit. This discussion really really helped a lot.
I will not go into the details of the interview at SAP. But to sum up next day was very hectic. After almost 10 hours spent in traveling, 21/2 hours at SAP and a great dinner at Parklane I was too exhausted to even think about anything. I slept off. I was in general happy about the way this Saturday went. I had a good feeling about it. But with my luck line vaporizing at the rate it was, I was very skeptical.
To my relief, finally I got the call from SAP saying that I have made it to the next round and I will have a final HR round. I was…; I still don’t know what I felt. I waaaas happy. But it was different. It’s the first time I have experienced that and I can’t really describe what I felt.
I was again in touch with myself; back to being a Narcissist in all rights. I loved the feeling.
Now a twist in the tale!!! I got a mail from my boss that I must initiate my UK Visa and I had a chance to go onsite!!! What??? Are you kidding me??? How can this happen? But it was true. I didn’t wake up from a dream or anything. I had really received the mail. I was at the crossroad where I could stick to the current company, go onsite (hopefully), earn money etc etc. On the other hand I had to take the risk of going into an unexplored territory. The dichotomy in my well wishers’ ideas; some, saying take up onsite (well there were very few though) and some, saying forget it, join the new company didn’t really help me make the decision. Then finally I decided to quit. Well there are many pros and many cons. For me obviously the pros over weighed the cons. I had lost the respect I had for this company and there was no point in staying. And really I didn’t see my future in PLM in the long run.
Finally, 29th May 2006, 11:38 AM I resigned from my current post. Then the usual formalities of keeping me in the company were executed. I am very thick skinned. Once I decide, it’s done!!!
So just in just a week everything changed. I was a different person. I had experienced something great. It was like Born Again to be free!!! Let’s see how long I can carry this feeling. One thing is sure, after this I will never loose hope!!! Because… “And Suddenly” everything changes… Just like that in a flash!!!!

Monday, May 29, 2006

Inertia!!!


There have been numerous blogs written on the current reservation ghafla that is going in in India. I had also wanted to write my views on it. But that hasn’t happened as yet. Anyway, I would like to narrate a small incident that happened on this Saturday (27th May 2006).
My cousin had come down to Mysore with her hubby and son for sight-seeing in Mysore. As usual I was the anchor!!! I have done that thrice in four weeks now. :):):) Cutting the big story short we went to many places and finally we landed at the grand finale Brindavan Gardens at around 1700hrs. The “Musical Fountain” which is by far the greatest tourist attraction in mysore was scheduled at 1900hrs.

So we roamed around in the park and finally arrived at the place where the show was to be held. Since we arrived early we occupied the steps that are meant for people to sit and watch the show. I forgot to tell you, we have to walk almost 800mts to reach this place from the entrance and vehicles are not allowed at this place. We were sitting and waiting for the show to start!!!
Then this happened. One Tata Sumo and a Toyota Qualis came up to the fountain and some 10 people came out of these vehicles. It was a big family. I was surprised as to how can vehicles be allowed to get into this area? It was not allowed and rules are rules. I wasn’t really angry but amused. But then the unthinkable happened. Since the steps were occupied, people were standing at the foot of the tank from where the fountain was supposed to start. There were a dozen police man. They asked some people standing in front to move back. Then these buggers, brought chairs… I don’t know form where and arranged them in the front row. The family that had arrived in the Sumo and Qualis started occupying the seats!!! I went wild!!! What the F*** was happening??? This is a public place? I was furious. I start babbling and my sis just smiled and kept quite. I was shaken. Just then the show started and I was caught in the grandeur of the fountain. We went back as soon as the show ended.


Interesting story with an absurd end right!!! But what can I do, that was the end and I wrote it that way. This is the problem with us I guess. Why didn’t I go and question the police men about the prejudice that I saw? Was it right on my part? Why didn’t anyone for that matter question this RESERVATION? Let me go a step further; is our legislature strong enough so that I can question such treatment of people?

Can we really change something? Do we have it in us to do what it takes to come out of our inertia, the Inertia to Change, to make a difference? If anyone can answer this then there is lot that can be changed and we will really be proud of present India and not just our History!!!

"कोइ भि देश Perfect नहि होता ...उसे Perfect बनाना पडता हैं!!!"
(No Country is perfect... We have to make it perfect)
Inquilab Zindabad!!!!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Ice Ice Baby!!!

After an exhausting day at work (ya ya take the ironic meaning) finally Sid and me decided to go home. It was already 5:45, and it was getting dark… Sid had purchased a new pair of shoes and I also wanted one. So we had planned to go to the city for shopping. I stood there outside the office gate, and looked at the sky. I had a funny feeling. I was going to wet my pants today.
Look at the beautiful sight of the sky and you will come to know why I said that.


Finally Sid came out, “Oyye.. Jaana hai kya? Baadal dekh”
“Thik hai… Kal chale jayenge.. Par thoda paise to nikal lete hai”
So we started towards the ATM. Suddenly it started. The Rain. Sid said…”I will give you the money… Let’s go now…”
We started towards Sid’s house. Suddenly it started raining so heavily that the rain drops felt like stones being belted on us. I was driving and I took the most blows, but my head was saved due to the helmet. I felt happiness, fright and pain at the same time!!! It was a great experience. I asked Sid just for formality whether we should stop… I knew his answer… We didn’t of course!!! How could we miss this thrill!!!
We decided, for some unknown reason, not to take the ring road and took the shorter but fairly kaccha route. One reason maybe that there were trees around and the rain droplets or better I will call them rain bullets’ belting on us might be reduced. We knew little what was in store for us on this route!!!
We crossed the sankranti circle(Don’t worry about where it is…) and were just around 500mts from Sid’s house. Suddenly we were caught in heavy wind… It was as if caught in the tornado… Dust and mud was thrown all over us and I was riding a bike which was swaying like a swing!!! (A spicy little exaggeration!!) I saw a small shop, a tapri, to be precise. I decided we had to stop there and we did so… My face was all covered with dust; foolishly I hadn’t pulled down the glass of my helmet. I could imagine what must have happened to poor Sid!!! Even though I enjoyed the feeling….
We stood there. Sid, “Abe tune ole dekhe hai”…
“What is the ole?”…
“Hailstones!!!”
“Ya ya…”, as I said this… I saw the ole dropping from the sky. I couldn’t hide the excitement. I told Sid that we will go into the rain and eat some ice. He protested, not for eating nor going into the rain, but said it will be more fun if we did that once we reach home… Later I came to know, that he also had to save his new leather shoes. So we climbed on the bike and headed towards his home. This was one of the most thrilling rides I have had in many months. The ice was hitting us with all force. We are going at a considerable speed also. All the memories of school came back when a hailstone hit my knuckle… I remembered, the days when we were punished for not doing homework by hitting on the knuckles!!! But this was different. It was my decision to get hit and enjoyed it thoroughly… I was shouting as the ice hit my chest and hands… Sid tried to cover and put his hand in front, his bad luck as he put his hand a hailstone hit his knuckle also and he shouted in pain but in happiness!!! Pain also can cause happiness!!! No philosophies now…
Finally we reached Sid’s home. I kept my wallet, some papers and removed my shoe and ventured into the icy rain and Sid followed. I ate lots of ice and got hit on the head by lots of ice. It was awesome….
Just look at one of my poses!!!


Look at Sid…. He said this is some “The Shawshank Redemption” pose….

Look at me again after drying myself. You can see my sweetie (Yamaha) also in the picture .
It was a beautiful evening spent in rain and Ice. It was an indulgence, and I enjoyed every moment of it. (ok… Before I meet the same fate as Kaavya Viswanathan, the above line was adopted from a statement of John Abraham in The Week)
It was a very refreshing feeling after a day’s exhaustive work!!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Dreaming for a dream to come True

A paragraph taken out from the diary of my dreams….

Date: 09th Sep 2012…. A Beautiful Sunday….
It was 10:30PM…. It was my birthday and I was returning from my birthday party…
It was an awesome party… I had turned 30… My wife and my sweet daughter Prerna were also present with me… I drank quite a bit of wine so my wife was driving. Prerna was sleeping on my lap. It was an awesome party also due to the fact that I had met many old friends of mine. It was a real real surprise as it was just supposed to be a family party but my sweet wife had foxed me and had invited many of my friends.
Adi, Anil, Vicky even Ami had come down for the party. It was too much fun.
Every one of us had made a good fortune. We had money and status also. We all started drinking and I noticed that all was not well. We were not really content with life. So I decided to break the ice and said, “Hey guys… Remember RockSoft?”…
Adi and Anil started laughing at me… “You were supposed to be an entrepreneur by now” said Anil… A weak smile appeared on my lips…
“Saale…Kitna baat karta tha…” said Adi shaking his head…
“Amrya, Tu mujhe CEO banane wala tha na?” said Ami mockingly…
Vicky just smiled… I also just smiled and the topic was suddenly changed when Prerna started babbling something and suddenly I ceased to be center of attention…
Sitting in my comfortable car, I remembered all the occasions when I had bragged that I will open a company of my own… I thought it was time now…
As soon as we reached home, I carried Prerna and put her to bed… I took a cold shower and called all of my friends to meet me tomorrow for lunch… Everyone agreed for some mysterious reason even though it was a Monday …. I started thinking about the same things again that were troubling me for almost 2 months now. Will I be able to pull it off? Is it my cup of tea? I had the idea, but did I have the backing of my friends… Will my dream of RockSoft truly be fulfilled??? I decided to wait and see…

Friday, April 28, 2006

Right Reasons!!!



Today I read a article by Dr. Gopalakrishnan who succeeds Mr. Ratan Tata as Chairman of Tata Sons Ltd.,the holding company for many of the Tata blue chips like Tata Steel, TataMotors, Tata Power, Tata Chemicals, Voltas etc.
The article is titled “Deserve before you Desire”.
Some lines from the article in the “complete the story” format that people are so familiar with from childhood…

“The grass isn't always greener on the other side!!.............. Move from one job to another, but only for the right reasons……passé to work for one company for a sufficiently long period…………..getting a 200% hike…….going to send me abroad………Then, I look around at all the people who are considered successful today and who have reached the top ……..most of these people are the ones who stuck to the company, ground their heels and worked their way to the top……….there always comes a time for moving in most organizations……right reasons, rather than the superficial ones…….no company recruits for charity…….people leave their organizations because they are unhappy……do I come to work to be happy in the truest sense?....No".

I am sure you must have got the gist of the article by now. Don’t move from a company unless you have the right reasons. But, the point is, what are these right reasons?
a) Lack of Challenges?
b) Lack of work ethics or bad working environment?
c) Money has been termed as a superficial reason. Is it really that simple to ignore money?
d) Saturation level reached?

Well these were some thoughts that came to my mind. One interesting point the article makes is about the fact that we don’t come to work to be happy. This is Strictly Business as Godfather would have put it. It’s not about happiness or un-happiness. This line has influenced me a lot today and am sure it will change my outlook towards professional life.
Finally as Dr. Gopalakrishnan puts it….
Work hard so that you have the right to desire….
Work Hard so that you “Deserve to Desire”…

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Talking to my Alter Ego...



Me: Why are some dayz bad and some good?
Antara: Stop cribbing now!!! You always cry…. Just because you didn’t like the way some conversation ended last night…rather morning…You didn’t allow me to sleep also, and just because your vehicle ran out of fuel you are crying?
Me:: But Antara, whom should I ask other than you? My ego is too large… I can’t ask nobody….
Antara: What do you want me to do?
Me:: Give me some answers…
Antara: The problem with you my dear is that you have selective memory. Lately you have been remembering only bad things and nothing pleasant. Why do want the answers? I mean No Day is good or Bad… Its just how you react to situations. You have been reacting very badly now a dayz…
Me:: What can I do… Everything is going haywire!!
Antara:: See sweetheart… Just think about it… Is it really that bad? Is it justified you hurting yourself for things not under your control?
Me:: But I am not hurting myself…..
Antara:: I haven’t slept for almost months now… You are always talking about something that is not worth giving the amount of thought you give it… I have tried consoling you so many times… but you have taken help of some things… I can’t mention it also…
Me:: I know Antara, I have been treating you rather badly.
Antara:: Stop cribbing again my dear. Who knows you better than me? Your affection for yourself and thus me has reduced. Once that is back… You will be back my dear…
Me:: But it is possible?
Antara:: Impossible was never in your dictionary! Get back to being what you are… The Narcissist… My Lover!!! My Worshipper!
Me:: I am trying and I need your help… You are all that I have…
Antara:: I am alive only because of you and I cease to exist the day you stop being what you are!!!
Me:: I Love you!!! Let’s start our Love Story again!!!

P.S. Antara is the person whom I talk to when I am down. My Inner Self with whom I have lost touch, and am trying to re-establish the connection!!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

A Contradiction!?

Today in the morning I read an article in TOI by Subroto Bagchi titled Life & Its Contradictions …
Let me quote some interesting things from it before I start….

“Faced with a contradiction, most of us usually look for the truth, instead of dealing with the contradiction itself. The truth is always much more comfortable. The difficult but inevitable thing in life is that the truth always reveals itself in contradictions. The packaging never gets any better.”

“Who must guide us in moments of indecision? The concept of the dialogue between Krishna and Arjuna is symbolic. Essentially, every one is part Krishna and part Arjuna. The Krishna in us is the voice of reason. The Arjuna in us is about the responsibility to act. Without one, the other is incomplete. Action without reason and reason without action are both inherently destructive.”

“The interesting truth is, when you clean the ink, it is just a transfer of the mess to another surface. In reality, it is impossible to clean anything in the world without making something else dirty in the process.”

When I read this, I was totally mesmerized by it. What he said made so much sense to me. It was happening to me. A Contradiction!!!

My contradiction about work:

My Principle: In any organization your work speaks for itself and you need not go around blowing horns about the work you do.
Reality: You need to do the latter and do it always. Blow the damn horns about your work.




I am or rather I must say “was” a narcissist. You can read that between the lines of my principle. Today I did the unthinkable. We have an automation tool in place for making some folder which is later sent to our onsite folks (For non-IT guys generally Onsite is a jargon used for people in the IT industry operating at client locations). I was supposed to use it from today. So I made some enhancements (For IT guys, I enhanced to get latest versions of files from VSS which is like a small script of say 5 lines thats all). Then I did what I thought I would never do. I mailed to the whole team about this enhancement; well okay that’s fine since the team needs to know about this… But then I mailed my Project Manager also!!! I don’t know why I did this. My principle says I must not do this and then I do it. Did my reading of the article trigger this? Did the Krishna in me outgrow Arjuna?
And then Do I still Love my self? If yes then how could I do this? These are unanswerable…
The truth is Reality Bites and bites hard. I know what I did is not considered wrong in the industry. But why am I feeling the guilt, the damn guilt that made me write this post?
???????...........
I don’t know…... hmmmm.....

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Holi Hai….


Dam, Jalali, Bedi, Amit and Jeetu... Wild!!!!

Holi, the festival of colors, one of the most awaited festivals in India. I was also waiting for this festival. This is my first holi without my family. I did miss holgi (a sweet dish) that is specially prepared during Holi. But otherwise it was a great Holi this year. My holi celebrations started on the eve of the day of colors only.
We all…. Amit, Sid, Jeetu, Jalali and Sangu went to Amit and Jeetu’s place that night. We had decent food and then started playing cards. We played mandigoat… I don’t know whether I have spelled it right.. But it was too good… We played up to 2 and then slept off….



From Left: Santanu, Mayukh,Debu, KT, Amit
and Jeetu trying hard to come in the foto...

The big day of holi came…. I had brought my dress for Holi already….Colors were also arranged a prior. Even we had Bhang ready with us…. At around 10:30 in the morning KT and Sid came home… (Sid went home that night for mysterious reasons yet to be found out JJ)… They had been colored already…. We sat for some more time and then went out to eat something… After eating we first put colors on each other and then embraced each other shouting… “Holi Hai”… It was amazing… Suddenly I felt a gush of energy in me with all the colors on me… Then we went around KD road which was a waste… Then we decided to go back home… As we started to leave… I got a call from Mayukh saying that Debu is in his home… We all rushed to his home and Dam was colored from top to bottom… He was in santanu’s room… The room was all red, green, blue and what not… It was just too good…. Then we all decided we need to go to some water place… We decided to go to Balmuri… So all of us went to Balmuri… There was a long discussion as to where we will get down in water… Finally a consensus was reached… Half of us in very shallow water and half in pretty deep water…. At the end of if all were in deep water… The best part the swimming or whatever by Sid… He almost drowned me and KT with him!!!!... And then the expression on Amit’s face once he came from his daring venture into Kaveri river was too good to miss…. Mayukh and Sangu were the stars, swimming, diving and motivating me and jeetu to follow them… Finally we came out from the water and went to have tea…
I had started the process of “Tearing Clothes” on our way when I tore a piece from Sid’s kurta and tied it on my head… That was wild… But something more wilder was yet to happen… When we came for tea I continued the process by tearing amit’s RBK shirt and then Jalali’s shirt and then Sangu’s shirt also… How can then I be spared… Sid pounced on me and started pulling my shirt… But unfortunately, again I got hold of his kurta and tore some more part of it….. But then the in evitable happened… Everyone pounced on me and tore my shirt into pieces… Literally there was nothing left of the shirt!!!
Just take a look below…

On the bullet with my Torn Shirt... I drove my bike 15 Kms wearin this...

We went back home and had lunch… Jeetu prepared Bhang, which was pretty weak.. We all drank Bhang and started waiting to get high… Well it didn’t really happen… But for a brief fifteen minutes we laughed like crazy… was it Bhang or not I don’t know…
I never imagined Holi being so fun without family… It was a great experience… Thanks to all my friends... Grazie ..


Practising American Football...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Sleepless at 4 am



From my archive of lines that I write when I am really upset…

Sleepless at 4 am

25th Nov 2005, I am sitting in my bed and wondering “what am I doing?”
I look at time in my mobile. It reads… 4:00am!!!
I wonder what was I doing till all this time. I haven’t slept!!!
Then I remember I was thinking about life. What exactly? I don’t know… I just sat wondering what is going on in my life currently. Am I happy with the way I have treated myself? Where am I heading towards in the future? Do I have a goal? Do I have friends who care for me? What will my friends remember me as? What will my family remember me as?
God and what not… The point is why was I getting all these thoughts on that day and was sleepless. I have suffered from insomnia in my earlier years of life. But this was different. The answers I gave myself sent a chill down my spine!!! The questions have been troubling me since then every day in and day out. The answers are more frightening.
I have been seeing 4:00am on my clock almost every day.
I don’t know where this Insomnia is going to lead me!!!!

God help me!!!

God did help me I guess… Today it is 14th Mar 2006…. Its 104 days since I wrote this. I think back and wonder why I wrote this. I was upset because I was thinking about the things around me that were not under my control. Today as I write this, I still feel sleepless at 4 am, but there is a difference…. I am not frightened by the answers that I am getting to the questions I have now. I hope I am going on the right track….

Go on… And the Faith will return!!!!.....

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Pan Wala

March 5th 2006…
Arif had come from banglore. So we decided to roam around play pool and then watch a movie. We went to watch Taxi No. 9.2.11. It was a 6-9 show. We were three of us; Arif, Anshu and me. So after watching the movie we decided to shop a bit and go to dinner. I suggested we go to Hotel Green. So we went there. First something about the Hotel. Hotel Green was a studio before named Premier Studio. This was the studio where the TV Soap “The Sword of Tippu Sultan” was shot. After a fire incident in which the producer Sanjay Khan also suffered severe burns; this Studio was converted into a Hotel. Okay lets get back to the mainstream. So we three sat and ordered for the food. It was already 10:20PM. I love pan (Beda). So I decided to get pans for all three of us. There is a pan shop in the hotel premises itself. So I went to this Pan Wala and asked him to make three pans. He said, that the pan chatni which gives the typical taste to pan is over and hence he cant make it. I said, I have to eat pan and so asked to make pan without the chatni.
So I am standing there and waiting for him to make the pans. He had the radio switched on and it was playing great Hindustani music. I love Hindustani music. It has always happened that I go to this shop and always Hindustani music is being played. So I commented on this. He said he is also a classical artist. I wasn’t really sure what to make of it. Suddenly he opened a container and out came the most beautiful flute I have seen in such close vicinity. It was a marvelous experience. I was elated to see the flute. It was a beauty. I asked him whether I can touch it. He obliged. My hands were shaking when I took that flute in hand. I handed it back as soon as possible. I was afraid I might spoil the beauty of the flute. The pan wala then played a piece for me. Even though it was not a great piece but surely it took me to cloud no 9.
Then we talked for 10 minutes more and one more surprise was waiting. The pan wala was from Orissa but knew kannada very well. He had studied in Gadag!!! Best part he had studied in Sawai Gandharwa Aashram…. I was startled. The pan wala had leant flute in the aashram where the likes of Pt. Bhimsen Joshi, Gangubai Hangal have learned there ABC of music.
I thanked him for the pan and went back to my dinner.
It was a great experience I had. So much of music is filled in nuke and corner of India. Just we need people to appreciate it. I will try my level best to do it.
I slept the most sound sleep in last 6 months that day!!!! Thanks to the Pan Wala!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

My First Tea!!!

It is mid August, I got up from the bed at 9Am. As usual went to the mirror directly.
I weighed more than 60kgs, plump all around my cheeks I stood there wondering what to do. I brushed and called “Amma… Cha”. (“Mom…Tea”).
Within two minutes, I was sitting in the hall with that day’s TOI and a huge mug of superb tea prepared for me. When I sit and think ‘bout it now, I feel I have blue blood!!!

Oct 10th 2005, the person who was supposed to be having blue blood just about a year back, is in a dirty looking kitchen preparing tea!!! Tea making… How much I hated it. My mom always used to tell me, “You will understand one day” whenever I said I hate making tea. Here I am out of Home just for a year and I have understood it!!!

I love drinking Tea, but hate preparing it. But, here in Mysore where I stay there is no other option. I have to prepare it. So what do I do, I decide to proactively make tea.
So I bought an electric heater. Now with some utensils and the heater I plunge into the grilling task of making tea on 10th Oct 2005. I requested my friend to get milk and asked him to get Brooke Bond Red Label tea powder. He got 1/4ltr Nandini milk and got Brooke Bond 3 roses. What the hell!!! 3 Roses, I hated that tea powder. Okay I decide it’s alright and next time I will get the Red Label. I cut the milk packet as I had seen my mom do that and poured it in a vessel. Then I mixed some water in the milk and kept it for boiling. Then I tried to stir the milk. Chuk… Shock!!! I was afraid for a second. I had spent Rs.650 on the heater and this on the first day. Then I checked out the electrical connections. There was a loose connection. I rectified it. I started the heater again and stirred it again. Uff!!! No shock. It was working fine.



The electric heater along with the tea powder and sugar in our kitchen

Then I put sugar, less or more, I never figured out the statistics of tea making!!! I decided to wait until it was ready. Then when the milk was pretty hot, I put right amount of tea powder… Right Amount… What in the gods name? I don’t know how much sugar I have to put and my room mate is worse than me. So I have to take the risk which I do and put some Tea powder. Now it is boiling. We haven’t got a fork. Never came to my mind that I will need it. So when it started boiling I took it off the heater with a kerchief. Hands, well they had to burn!!! Then the worst part, we don’t have a mesh to separate the tea and the used tea powder. So I just poured it in the glass, rather two glasses and we kept it for some time so that the tea powder settles down. We started drinking. But, as if it was a syzygy between the two, the powder didn’t settle down completely in the tea. So every now and then, we need to spit out the powder. But that was very less. So it was manageable. Now somebody had to clean it. I had burned my hand, had been electrified by the heater. So luckily my room mate cleaned up the utensils and the glasses. WoW!!! We had made the first tea on our own in Mysore.

At the end of all this, it was a satisfying incident. I learnt that what we think is so simple from outside is not like that. Look at the circus I had to do just to make 2 cups of tea. The tea was good, not the best but very satisfying.

Everything said and done, one thing that didn’t change was my idea of tea (a bit modified) “I love tea, but hate preparing it, but I have to”.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Size of God and the Atomic Structure



The year is 420 B.C. Greece. The sun is setting in the far west. A Greek named Democritus is sitting and watching the beautiful Red sun, set in the sea. He has a mug in his hand. He is drinking water. He thinks to himself, what is this water made up of? He starts wondering and suddenly the mug slips all the water is spilled on the ground. Splash!!! What he sees on the ground startles him! He sees that as the water falls, it breaks into tiny droplets. As water touches the ground, it spills again and breaks into smaller parts. So he fills water again in the mug and spills it, deliberately this time. Again he wonders at how the water breaks into droplets. His hand being wet, he even drops the mug. The mug made of mud also breaks into pieces. Thud!!! He starts smiling to himself. He crushes the broken parts of the mug again. Smaller pieces!!! He wonders how small he can go. As small as the grains of sand around him? He continues breaking several things and finally makes a proclamation that matter is composed of tiny, indivisible particles in constant motion. These indivisible particles he calls “atomos” which means indestructible particle. As it happens with many great ideas, his idea dies with him.

It was not until 1803, a 36 year old chemist was trying to find out the answers to questions like “Why did (say) one gram of hydrogen always combine with 8 grams of oxygen, never more, never less?”, that Democritus’s idea was given more thought. He kept daily weather records. He was very interested in meteorology. He was John Dalton. In the course of his studies on meteorology, Dalton concluded that evaporated water exists in air as an independent gas. He wondered how water and air could occupy the same space at the same time, when obviously solid bodies can't. If the water and air were composed of discrete particles, Dalton reasoned, evaporation might be viewed as a mixing of water particles with air particles. These particles he called atoms from “atomos” again. Now atoms were the smallest particles known to man. Mark this statement again:

“Atoms were the smallest particles known to man”.

Let’s number this statement as 1. We will be using this statement to make an interesting notion.

Now let’s go a bit further with the history in hand.
There have been dedicated researchers in all centuries. Here I am talking about a British physicist, who changed the very idea of construction of universe. Until him, all matter was made up of indivisible particles called Atoms. Around one hundred years ago amidst glowing glass tubes and the hum of electricity, this British physicist J.J. Thomson ventured into the interior of the atom!!! The particle supposed to be the building block of all matter and which was considered indivisible. At the Cavendish Laboratory at Cambridge University, Thomson was experimenting with currents of electricity inside empty glass tubes. He was investigating a long-standing puzzle known as "cathode rays." His experiments prompted him to make a bold proposal: these mysterious rays are streams of particles much smaller than atoms; they are in fact minuscule pieces of atoms. He called these particles "corpuscles," and suggested that they might make up all of the matter in atoms. It was startling to imagine a particle residing inside the atom-the indivisible, the most fundamental unit of matter.
After several more experiments (Lets spare the details of all the experiments) and suggestions from fellow scientists, he made a hypothesis:
“We have in the cathode rays matter in a new state, a state in which the subdivision of matter is carried very much further than in the ordinary gaseous state: a state in which all matter... is of one and the same kind; this matter being the substance from which all the chemical elements are built up."
The subdivided particles were called as corpuscles by Thomson. Irish physicist George Francis FitzGerald, in 1897 named these corpuscles as “electrons”.

So,

“Electrons were the smallest particles known to man”

Let’s again number this statement as 2. We will be using it for our notion. So let’s try and remember this also.

Okay let’s continue our journey through the past.

Year1896, month march in France it is was overcast weather. A local physicist Antonie Henri Becquerel was conducting experiments which needed sunlight. But since the weather he couldn’t get the sunlight he was looking for. He had among his apparatus, photographic plates and some uranium. Physicists are known to carry weird substances.
Okay let’s not deviate from the story. He kept both of these in a darkened drawer. Much to his Becquerel's surprise, the plates were exposed during storage by invisible emanations from the uranium. The emanations did not require the presence of an initiating energy source--the crystals emitted rays on their own! As John Lennon puts is so wisely”Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans”. By accident what he had found out was what is today popularly known as Radioactivity.

This serendipitous discovery of Radioactivity was further pursued with great interest by many scientists. These studies lead to some astonishing discoveries; I would rather call them findings rather than the former.

Ernest Rutherford was a New-Zealander with a Scottish origin. He was a student of Thomson and a great physicist. He conducted some war type experiments and bombarded the atoms with fast moving Cathode-Rays. What do we call this-A war against the building blocks? Whatever we call it, his experiments led to the discovery of what we call nucleus now and that this bulky thing in the atom constitutes all the weight and positive charge of the atom.
So referring to statement 2, it was not only electrons that made up the atom. There were some more particles!!! These are the particles that make up the nucleus, which were further named as protons and neutrons, positively charged and electrically neutral respectively. Electrically neutral? Sometimes these physicists are really confusing. They say electrons move and thus produce electricity and then make a statement like “Neutrons are electrically neutral” when they also say that nucleus where neutrons are found don’t contain any electrons. Interesting, but still true!!!

Okay now Man knew three fundamental particles negatively charged “Electrons”, positively charged “Protons” and electrically neutral “Neutrons”.

Now again let’s mark this statement as 3. This will again be used in our future notion.

Okay I know it has been too much of physics and chemistry in this story.
Time to take a break!!! Just remember the three statements and have some coffee before starting this next part. You might be wondering, “Where is this weirdo getting to with his boring physics and chemistry stories?” I promise it will be worth all this waiting and coffee. We are reaching that illusive notion I have been talking about all along.

It was in 1956, Fred Reines of the University of California at Irvine and the late George Cowan were working on the beta decay of the nucleus and they found the particles named neutrino. Further experiments proved the existence of smaller particles generally classified as Leptons, neutrino being one of them. In July 1998, it was proved by a joint venture of US and Japanese scientists that these neutrinos are one of the fundamental particles and have a mass lesser than an electron. I mean, where was man heading? A particle smaller than an electron! That’s really mind blowing. It is also said that millions of these pass through the body every second. Why don’t these leave a dent? Well it’s again a mystery which is out of the scope here.

So now we had these funny named neutrinos as the smallest particles known to man.
So the elementary particles or the fundamental particles were these Leptons which included neutrinos, electrons etc and the protons and neutrons which are collectively called Baryons.
Let’s not mark this. Because as Sherlock Holmes says, “Mind is like an attic”. So you must keep only things necessary in it.

Okay going forward, there is a lab named Fermi lab. This lab by around 1995 found out that, protons and neutrons are not the fundamental particles, In fact they are made up of smaller particles called Quarks. Just the thought of this is sickening me. Just take a look at the names of these small particles:

Down, Up, Strange, Charm, Bottom and Top.

Isn’t that interesting? Well now where are we in the history of the atom and its structure?

Okay let’s mark the next statement also, as statement 4

The Fundamental particles are Leptons and Quarks. Leptons comprise of the electrons and the almost mass less Neutrino. Quarks are the particles of which protons and neutrons are made of.

Ufff…I am tired of finding more microscopic particles. Let’s stop here in our research about the sub-atomic particles. We have enough data to come to our notion.

God… Who is this god or what is this god? I will take the definition used by many scientists; God is a power behind the nature’s creation. Okay so God built us this beautiful Universe. So God must be very very big!!!
Wait a second! Let’s analyze this properly, what did God actually make? Go to statement 1. Atoms were the smallest particles known to man in around 1803. So we knew matter is made up of atoms. Who made these atoms? GOD as there was no better answer for it.

Then in about 1897, we came to know (statement 2) that atoms are not the fundamental particles, but they are made up of electrons. Referring to statement 3, in the earlier part of the 20th century, Atoms was in fact made up of protons, neutrons and electrons.
Who made these particles? Again it was GOD, the almighty. Interesting word people use to describe GOD, the almighty the most powerful. He created the smallest particles of nature known then, protons, neutrons and electrons and everything else was made of these indivisible particles.

In the latter part of the 20th century, the 90’s, we came to know that protons and neutrons are further made of Quarks (statement 4).

So from statement 4, Quarks and Leptons are the most fundamental particles known to man. Who created these again, GOD!

A wild dog has a den and a sparrow has a nest. Both built them on there own. The size depends on the size of the maker. So the den is larger than the nest. Using this hypothesis (Sorry for being so mathematical), I want to make forward a notion that…

GOD IS SHRINKING!!!

In nineteenth century he was so big that he created the atom, and by the end of twentieth century he is so small that he is creating Quarks and Neutrinos. God is the creator, but his size is shrinking as our knowledge about the atomic structure is increasing. Man is a logical animal. This is my deduction of the study I made about the belief of what god is and the atomic structure.

So, God is shrinking and our knowledge is increasing. How good it is for the mankind, Time is the only thing that will tell.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005




This is small story about me and my sweetie!!! My Yamaha Rx135!!!

The syzygy of events in life led three of us, Amrya (myself), Arya and Nagya to come together and stay in the same house. We all got posted in Mysore but in different departments. We took a house about 2 km from the company. We used to take the city bus, a rick or would walk our way to and back from office.

Then one fine day as if He had shown us the direction, Nagya and Arya decided to get their bikes. They were so excited. I was also excited but it was different. These friends of mine knew how to ride a bike and me poor me didn’t know as I never found the need.

But fate had better things in mind. So Arya and Nagya got there Samurai and Rx100 respectively. Both bikes were really old. So I had to be the pillion of either the Rx with the great sound or the more safe (as on paper) Samurai. Rx was not available as Nagya had a schedule very very unlike mine. So I had to stick to samurai.

Then one weekend, as it happens, I was left alone in the house with a samurai and also an Rx in the den. Poor me didn’t know how to ride nor did I have the jigara to venture alone. This really frustrated me. But I could do nothing!!!

Next day I asked Nagya to please teach me how to ride the bike. He reluctantly accepted. There it started my association with a Yamaha. Rx100 is a super fast monster, but the one we had was even though fast had lost its luster and hence seemed sluggish. This sluggishness in fact helped me ride it easily. I eventually started venturing alone with the Rx. I like the feel and the gear shift style. I am short and this bike being small helped a lot!!! I even started riding the samurai but was never comfortable and I haven’t figured it out till now why. But I knew life gives you signs and I accepted the signs.

The major problem after a month or so after me learning to ride was that I seldom got the Yamaha to ride. Samurai, I was happy to be the pillion. But as I said earlier Fate is important. Arya got a transfer to b’lore!!! So suddenly I had the samurai to my own. But fate again, Arya told me his brother wants his bike as soon as possible. So I sent the samurai after riding it for a week or so. Still our Yamaha guy had bad schedules and I had to walk home or come by a rick. The frustration started building. I had to do something.

Now let me tell you about his bike fanatic friend of mine. He is Adya from pune. He owned an Rx135 at this time. He maintains his bike very well and loves them like his wife. This fellow had his Rx up for sale. Since I had rode an Rx I thought I will go for it.
I thought about it a lot and finally when I had to make the decision I made it a flash. I had been to my home town. I asked my dad and got the green. I called up Adi and told him, Sucker I want your bike and I cant pay you more than 25K. He started laughing and said I can’t handle his monster. I said I have decided to take that risk and convinced him. He agreed and we struck a deal. I saved a lot of money for this. No purchases, No dress. No shoes. Nothing. I liked the way I did it. And finally I had the required dough in a month to get this Rx.
It was 15th June 2005, I transferred 25K to my friends account and he transferred the bike to Hubli. I went to Hubli and booked the transfer of the bike to Mysore on the train. Next day I came to mysore. My sweetie as I call her had arrived. She stood there shining. I could help but smiling at this first real spending of my life!!! I owned a bike. I took her from the station. Fate again had its say. It was a strike for the petrol bunks that day and the worst part being, Nagya as usual had just half litre petrol in his bike. I asked him to remove that petrol from his bike and come by the next bus to Station. I pushed my sweetie to the nearest petrol bunks. None was operating that day. I called up Nagya and he was still coming. Then as life shows us signs, someone told me that a petrol bunk is operating on the end of the road I was standing. It was a down hill. If it was false, I had to push her all the way back. That was one hell of a risk. My intuition said, lets give it a try and I did. Luckily the petrol bunk was operating and I got the so much needed petrol.
Then started the tedious task of starting her. Yamaha always has cold start problem. I was not used to that. So I tried calling up Adya. But that bugger was sleeping!!! I kicked and kicked and finally she spurted to life…. Wow what a hum she made from her heart. I fell in love instantly! Then I rode to the point very cautiously where I had asked Nagya to come. He came and I told him about the petrol story. He was very happy to see my bike. Then we rode back to our house, with the half litre petrol from his bike in his hand.
That was the last and final time I rode her so cautiously. Just take a look at her. Isn’t she a beauty?






Thursday, September 15, 2005

MY FIRST POST


What is Nitrous Oxide?
Chemical PropertiesA nitrous oxide molecule is made up of 2 atoms of nitrogen and 1 atom of oxygen. By weight it is 36% oxygen (air is only 23.6% oxygen). At 70° F it takes 760 PSI of vapour pressure to hold nitrous in liquid form. The critical temperature is 97.7° F; at this temp the vapour pressure can no longer hold the nitrous in liquid form. At this point the nitrous turns gaseous and will be at 1069 PSI. As temperature rises further, so will pressure, but it will remain in gaseous form. If you intend to siphon liquid nitrous, it is important to keep the temperature below 97.7°. When liquid nitrous is released, it will go from 760 PSI to 14.7 PSI (normal atmospheric pressure). It will then begin to boil and rapidly expand; the pressure drop will cause the temperature to decrease. Nitrous boils at 129.1°F below zero.

for more details see:
http://www.noswizard.com/technical.php?osCsid=d7a3e5be2dfee15a08d7262412ae179b