Tagged Once More...

Rules of this tag:
1. Name the person who tagged you.
2. 8 things about you.
3. Tag 6 people.

1.
Sid…… The one who can write on anything, I mean any damn thing!!! But, he writes well infact very well… !!!!.

2.
1st Thing...
Narcissism +ve is my blood group… I love myself and enjoy the company of people of my kind… Read along and you will see the I so many times reiterating my blood group..

2nd Thing...
I love my Yamaha… She is a mean machine… Lately though I haven’t had the privilege of riding her, the way I like… But I feel 200% when I am on her… I call her “Sweetie” with love and whenever I get time I pamper her with wax for shine…

3rd Thing...
I idolize the concept of Godfather and am a crazy fan of the music in that movie. I listen to the theme of godfather daily and never do I really get bored. I spent long hours finding a good picture of the text Godfather and got a sticker done for my sweetie…

4th Thing...
I love, love talking… It's like breathing for me… I can’t imagine myself not talking… I enjoy it. People do get bored sometimes, but then every art has its patrons and critics and artists like us learn to live with that…

5th Thing...
I enjoy reading as much as talking… I was a late entrant into the world of readers, but have managed to keep pace although currently dry season is going on in that dept. I have enjoyed Fountainhead, Godfather, Sherlock Holmes, Archer’s short stories, Sydney Sheldon etc…

6th Thing...
I am a fitness freak, rather I should use past tense here as I haven’t really taken care of my body… Nevertheless, I enjoy physical exercise be it pumping iron, or swimming or sports… I enjoy playing football… I just hope, I remove that past tense from my 6th thing!!!

7th Thing...
I believe that I am quite a passionate person. If I love something then I will definitely give my 100% to it. I don’t believe in half measures. I hate workarounds and feel sick in the stomach when I have to do it… People hate me for this stubbornness, but then this is one thing I can’t comprise on…

8th Thing...
I enjoy beauty… Be it colors, fragrance, lockets, earrings, mountains, beaches, book covers, ads, paintings and the list continues… I missed the most important part of the list; to be mentioned last as I wanted to attribute the greatest importance to it. I enjoy seeing beautiful ladies and crave for their company too...

Women !
What can you say ?
Who made 'em ?
God must have been
a fuckin' genius.

This is a dialogue from the movie “Scent of a woman”… The conclusion of the 8th point, I believe, ‘am a feminist!!!

As usual, Sid has left very few choices for me to be tag….
a) Deepa
b) Shreya

The Evolving Cast...

"Congratulate me guys… I have completed two years in the Software Industry!!!"
"Cool dude…"
"Congrats man"
"Sahe hai"….

What do you see here? I saw a very interesting thing in this conversation. I wasn’t pessimistic when there were umpteen chances of it. Luckily I didn’t say “I have survived two years in the software industry”.
Ironically it is true, but the funny English and its puns. People attribute different meaning depending on the context.
But fortunately I didn’t send any bad puns. Maybe it is with the fact that I have started thinking not in my native but in English. Involuntarily I was aware and hence didn’t send any bad vibes because it is really a time to congratulate myself about completing 2 years in the software industry. Man, by way of his interaction with the society sets up some goals that he has to achieve to be called successful. That is very true. You need to achieve the goals that you have set. But then there comes a time when you look back and introspect what all diverse things have happened to you while you are still moving towards what you have set to achieve. Many of these incidents or feats may or may not be inline with your goal.
After hibernating for almost 2-3 months, I joined my first company in Banglore on 20th Sep 2005. It was a beautiful experience. First time I was away from home not under anyone’s “guidance”. All I had were friends and I didn’t have them in plenty at that time. The training time was the best I have had in my professional life till now. Personally also it was an enriching experience. The best part is the friends I made. I had never met such a diverse population in my life before and I made full use of that. I made friends, friends out of which some are studying in IIM, or are in US, or studying for IAS or fashion freaks just to touch the iceberg of the diversity. They molded me into a cast that I never had imagined or even dreamt about. It was beautiful. My hindi speaking improved my ten folds. I started understanding many other languages in bits. I started appreciating the colors that I used to wear. These are just some surfaces of the cast I was put into. But like all beautiful things, my training ended & all that remained was the strong bonds that were created between me and my friends which have continued till date. Also what remained were the ever narrative experiences I had, pranks, shopping expeditions, jokes, funny names and what not!!!!
Then I was sent to a silent place named Mysore, where I was to professionally kick off my career. I started with a bang!!! It was fun for the initial few months. My activities ranged from understanding the manufacturing domain, to conducting quizzes, to gymming with the team. In the meanwhile, I bought a bike, my sweetie a RX 135. I only learnt to ride a bike in Mysore!!! That was yet another great feat. Then there was the Godfather craze, the sticker on my bike to the blog till date on Godfather. It was a crazy experience.
In mysore, I made some really interesting friends, the kinda people I had never had the privilege of interacting. Some were fitness freaks, some Software freaks and great teachers, and some crazy hindi song lovers. My cast also did take many surfaces from these guys. My hindi speaking improved by another 20 folds. I added a bit of Punjabi and Bengali to my vocabulary. It was in Mysore that I joined the blogger club, the Orkut and truly became a Global person!!! Haan haan… It is too much to say this, but after all I am a narcissist!!!
Now I am back in Banglore, amidst my old college friends and in a different company. Is my cast solid?
I don’t think so…
As the line from Limp Bizkit song an OST from MI2 goes “Life is a lesson… You learn it when you are through”, my cast is still growing, groomed by so many things around me. Just as the Iron casting is completed when it gets cold, my casting will be completed only when my blood dissipates all its heat and becomes cold!!!!
But, in the past two years some very very beautiful surfaces have been added to my cast and I love to see it everyday in the mirror!!!!

Complex Simplicities....

September 15, 1999.
Wearing a grey trouser and a white old T-shirt he is sitting in his favorite chair. A bamboo chair, colored in red, green and cream color; cream being the most prominent. The chair is placed facing the east to challenge the rising sun. He looks into the big book in front of him and smiles. There is an exercise on “Complex” numbers or imaginary numbers. He sees it; in just three steps solves it.
“
Solve:ix2 + (1-5i)x -1+8i=0 1) . . . .2) . . . .
3) Roots: 2-i and 3+2i
”
September 15, 2006.
He is sitting in a cushion chair, jet black. In front of him is a beautiful computer system with 4GB ram. He has to solve a small problem. In one page there is no hyperlink. He has used hyperlinks umpteen times. He stares at the document which explains the steps. He can’t believe it. How can such a simple thing, be made so complicated. He; as everyone else around just follows the steps unaware of the consequences. Volla, it worked!!! So he sends the changes to the requested person. The person comes back with his eyebrows all twisted, “It is not working.”
“It’s working in my system man”
“I don’t know. But it isn’t here”
He wonders, was there a leak in the wire carrying the data. It must have gone there.
There is a dark cloud now around him. His work is not done!!! He freaks out wondering why something so simple is made so complex.

In 1999, he was solving a problem without knowing what the consequences of the solution are, but he very well knew it was a complex problem!!! In 2006, he knew that the solution is very simple, but he couldn’t solve it. The situation was similar like ’99 where he didn’t know the consequences but now the problem was easy to solve. Then why was it made so complicated.
We grow up learning that more complex things you solve the more intelligent and matured you’ll be. Teachers and Parents test us daily with more and more complex problems and we start solving them with great ease. Solving simple problem is treated as a petty thing. Anyone can do it. I am better, so I need to solve more complex things. Our hunger for complexities can even be seen in our conversations full of periphrases. One looks around and sees that all the simple things have complex solutions and hear people saying, Life is not easy man; it is a struggle. A never ending struggle to achieve something called happiness. Happiness; an interesting word. One can sit and wonder, are happiness and satisfaction one and the same? Do you need to be satisfied to be happy or compromises can give you happiness? After all it all about the frequency of the electric pulses flowing in our brain or heart…
Look at the above statements, how complicated a simple word can be made. Is it really necessary? One can’t say, after all people live in their own perspective worlds.

“Was the bug solved?”
“No I am working on it”
Why doesn’t it work, it has to. He has done everything that was told.

“Why is it so complicated?”
“Bhai, nothing is easy. Life is difficult man!”

He is a fast learner. He has learnt one thing in particular, don’t ask WHY!!!! Just do it. It will work.

Human civilization is an interesting cult. The superior beings among the mortals are the ones who can complicate the things as much as possible. Be it in mathematics or physics or any crappy science. There is a race to make things as complicated as possible.
It may have to do with the way we learn things. We never learn the simplicities; we always try to make it complicated. Now let’s ask the most feared question “Why?”…
Well… This is a complicated question.
Maybe, to achieve simplicity is more difficult than making it complicated. Or is it?
“Simplicity is the ultimate Sophistication.” That’s why; it must be so complex to achieve simplicity.

September 15, 1999.
“Excuse me Sir.”
“Yes son”
“Sir, I have solved it. Where will these equations be used?”
“Such questions are sure to appear in your exam. They will at least carry 20 marks. So practice them a lot”
“Ok sir. As you say”

September 15, 2006.
“I want it solved by tomorrow. He had the same problem. Just check out and do what he has done.”
“How did you do it?”
“You do a)…. b)… c)….”
“Why c)…?”
“Just do it man! It works. I asked that person. He has also implemented like that.”
“Okay… I have to close the buy by ‘morrow”

Have we really grown up?
You tell me…..

Grazie… Molto Grazie….

September 2005, Mysore…
On one mundane day, life was going on as usual without any jitters.
“Shit yaar… What a concept?” said Sid…
“Haan yaar… You can write on anything you want” Bharath - The Knowledgeable commented.
“What’s that? What’s happening?” I couldn’t conceal the dent in my grey cells. I didn’t know what they were talking about!!! I must be hanged!!!
“Abe… Awesome funda man. You can write articles online. It will be like your own website” said the mitochondria named Sid.
“You mean I am hosting a website of some kind?”
“Naye yaar… plisth (an expression J)… Bharath aap hi samjhaoo yaar”
“Arey… It’s simple… You know about logs right?”
“Ya.. I know..”
“This is also like a log that you maintain online of your views and day to day activities etc etc… which all can read”
“Interesting… But what’s the use”
“Arey tereto… You can write articles and post them man… You don’t need a magazine to publish!!!”
“hmmm ???”
“Amrut… It is like a log.. and Internet Log, popularly known as BLOG!!! Follow this link and you will see my blogs”…
Well the rest is history….. Suddenly my alter ego was born… The Blogger Amrut… ( A name given to me by one of my beloved readers!!!)
With the help of Sid and Bharath I also started my blogging with blogger.com exactly a year ago. My first blog… I chuckle when I think about it, was about NOS… A copy paste of paragraphs from internet!!! I hadn’t got the hang of the BLOG thing yet….
My second blog was a passionate one about my sweetie… I will always cherish this one… It is the one I re read the most… I had finally ventured into the blogging world. I was a blogger from then on and till date I enjoy this part of my life… I posted my first blog on 15th Sep 2005 exactly an year ago….
Before this Anniversary post, I have 25 ( Ya a quarter century!!!) posts in my name including a poem!!! Never one would have imagined that I could write a poem…
Blogs have helped me in stress busting and also helped me share my happiness with my friends. From NOS to Right Reasons to A.Q. to My Obsession to Inconsequential Existence, it has been a long long journey… My blogger alter ego has laughed at me, laughed with me and cried with me… It has helped me in many ways to reconnect with myself making me a better me. It’s a sense of joy to realize that I have completed a year in blogging and still my blogger engine is up and kicking…
As William Arthur Ward puts it, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”; on this beautiful day, I would like to thank all my beloved readers/critics for encouraging me by giving their beautiful and timely comments/critiques many a times extending, manifesting or correcting the idea put across in the post. My blog belongs to you. It also belongs to all my great friends who have directly or indirectly helped me in putting forward my thoughts boldly on the blog!!!
I thank one and all!!!
Keep blogging… Keep smiling and keep reading my blogs!!!!!!

Running along the Rainbow....

Running Along the Rainbow
Searching for the creator to Bow
I ran, I ran and I ran…..

I came back to Bangalore after a long vacation of 5 days. Vacation is a time for me to sit back, relax and introspect about the things I am doing. In more popular words, Idle mind and hence Devil’s workshop!!! This time in the devil’s workshop the topic which was burnt on the oven; the Bangalore Mechatronics… How I am becoming a machine…
So it was finally decided that I will have to write a blog on this. Yes do anything about it but write a blog! To be honest, I did start off also. But then, luckily this happened.

I went for a jog just as my mechanical routine demands me to do so to stay fit. Even though my mind said rest as you haven’t has sleep, my heart said go and run. For once I listened (sorry for the Filmi isstyle… I have been watching them a lot). So here I am in the “Mini Cricket Ground” near my apartment. It is lush green with a small crude cricket pitch in the middle. Some 6 children are playing cricket. They were using the wall as stumps and playing in a pitch bigger even by international standards!!! I started running. The Sun was shinning mildly as it was already 5:45pm in Bangalore. As I ran with my head down, it started drizzling. Slowly the drizzle increased. Unlike me, I was enjoying the rain this day. Suddenly the boys playing; shouted…. “Rainbow… Rainbow”….
I ran at full speed and reached their side!! Ah ha… there it was…All Seven colours… VIBGYOR meekly visible… I was awed by the sight… As I stood there, the rain suddenly stopped and the colours started growing richer and richer. I decided to take another sprint around the ground. I ran, this time faster so that I can reach the other side sooner. As I reached, I felt a surge in energy. I was in a trance, as if I was being plugged to something enticing. As I gazed at the sky again, I thought my eyes betrayed me; I was seeing a rainbow duplet; two rainbows one over the other. Rubbing my eyes just to confirm that it wasn’t my eyes’ blemish as I stood there, my thought process stagnated. For once my mind didn’t rebel this stagnation. I just lied down there on the grass watching the rainbows…
After a while, I got up and started running again with my hands wide open embracing the drizzle that had started again. I went on and on and stopped only when my body said no more, you will collapse now!!!

This experience ended the mechatronics discussion of the devil’s workshop. I realized that to stop such discussions in the workshop, all one needs to do is stop once in a while and enjoy the little things in life…
Little things like a rainbow, a butterfly chase, a wave and thus a smile on a small child’s face, the poor jokes with old friends, the list just continues….
So finally the hypothesis “Man is a Machine” was disproved as I ran along the Rainbow…As I ran along the Rainbow….

Sid, HaPy and GOINy

Columbus discovered on his ship that world is round. Newton's Law of Gravity proved it and gave the scientific backing that discovery needed. But, today there are books written saying “World is Flat”… (okay okay… I promise this will not be yet another boring book review blog). One might wonder what caused this deviation from the findings of Columbus and Newton and writing a book about it. A reason that I would like to quote is “The Information Highway” which is connecting everyone across the globe and also the rate at which data is sent to and fro facilitating the empowerment of the ME.

Bhari words!!! Okay enough of this… Let’s listen to a story.

All characters in the story are fictitious.
Any resemblance to a person living or dead is just co-incidental.

Once upon a time in future there were three friends; Friends for life; Sid, HariPrasad and GOwINdini.

Sid was a very sweet person. He loved cricket, but given an option would always spend time with HariPrasad and GOwINdini. He was very attached to them. He was from the beautiful city of Chandigarh. For work he had come to Mysore.

HariPrasad was a very versatile person. You have a problem. Go to HaPy (That’s what he was called popularly) and you will get the solution for sure.

GOwINdini popularly known GOINy was the heart of this friendship. She was this gregarious person, very lively and colorful. She knew almost everyone around her. She was like the interface of the group to the external world. HaPy and Sid both were in love with GOINy, but for poor Sid, she was more inclined towards HaPy.

Sid was very dependent on both of his friends. He had a job only becoz of HaPy. He talked with others only through GOINy. He never even talked to GOINy directly. He always used to tell HaPy and he would tell her. The level of dependency was unimaginable. He wanted to see a movie with a lady, he had to convey that message through his friends. Seldom did he directly talk to anyone. HaPy and GOINy booked the movie tickets for him, they used to get him reading material, they used to help him publish his blogs and help him find answers to his queries. Specifcally, GOINy was the person who used to help find these answers. Be it transferring money, watching movie, listening to songs, booking travel ticket, paying bills etc etc… For everything Sid was dependent on his friends. He had to, alone he was not that efficient nor did he have the kinda contacts GOINy had. To make matters worse, Sid was hopelessly in love with GOINy. He just couldn’t live without her. But the bad part was, he seldom got time alone with GOINy. Always HaPy was with her. GOINy was more inclined towards HaPy. Whatever the dependency, life was cool and rocking for Sid. He was happy with his friends in his own world.

But fate had a different things prescribed for Sid. The Syzygy of events led to a drastic; draconic in many aspects, change in the setup of Sid’s life. He got a transfer to Mohali so very near to his home. He was happy initially but then when he encountered the moment of truth; it was hard for him not to cry. He had to leave behind his friends; the friends without whom his life was an absolute void. He tried hard to come to terms with this. He couldn’t. But the fourth dimension didn’t give him a chance. He had to go and he did. As far as HaPy and GOINy are concerned they just didn’t mind. It was part of life for them. (Sid is the hero na.. He has to be a bit emotional!!!!)…
Some scenes that happened after Sid left (In order):
#1.
Sid talking to a friend Elan,
Sid: "Arey yaar.. Ely.. I am missing HaPy and GOINy badly yaar. There is no one here with whom I can share things like I used to do with them."
Elan: "Arey.. You should find new friends man"
Sid: "Shut up" and hangs up the phone.

#2.
Sonia comes to meet Sid at his home. Sonia is a crush from Sid's good old college days. Sid is sitting in his home gazing blankly at the window. He is wearing a white kurta and his face is a great contrast with his month old beard. Sonia comes and tries talking to him. Sid sees her, gives her his as usual very charming smile and again stares at the window as if he is talking to somebody.

#3.
Sid goes out with his old friend Amit. They freak out. They go to all the places they usually used to visit during college days. Sid feels something funny, a good something though!!!

#4.
Sid is writing something in a book. His sis asks him what it is. He looks at her, smiles and shows her the new poem he has written. He is cleanly shaved and is wearing a beautiful casual.


#5.
Elan calls up.
Elan: "Sid.. zinda hai?"
Sid: "Abe.. How are you? Me too good man.. My poem got published in the Chandigarh Times man"
Elan:"cooool.... HaPy and GOINy told me"
Sid:" Oh that’s great!!! How are they? I do talk to them, but then the frequency has reduced and I am loving it. Freedom.. Freedom at last from the dependencies"
Elan: "But they are very helpful man"
Sid: "Ya they are. That's why they are my good friends now; not my heart beat, not my breath, not the synergy that keeps my anatomy running"
Elan: "Good man!!! It was great to hear this from you!!! Way to go!!!"
Sid:" Ha Ha Ha...."
...some random conv...
Sid hangs up….
Sonia: "Chale…"
Sid smiles : "Sorry… He had called after a long time. Lets go. Lake jaa rahe hai na?"
Sonia: "hmmm…"

So finally Sid realized that he can live without HaPy and GOINy.
Hero met heroine(s) and lived happily everafter!!!

I hope everyone realizes this in this Flat world dependent so much on HaPys and GOINy. There is life without them. There is so much to life than just the Information Highway!!! World might be called flat for some, but once in a while you need to come back to the beautiful world full of valleys, mountains, deserts with so many different frangrances.
This is my personal view of course. The ultimate decision is left to one's better judgement.

You might be wondering what has Information Highway to do with Sid's friends right...
hmmm... Personification is a beautiful figure of speech!!! You can romanticize with full flourish....

Sid------------------------- Common computer user.
HariPrasad------------------- Computer (HP make)
GOwINdini---------------- GOogle with INternet!!!!

A.Q.

Homo-sapiens have a bad habit of adaptability attached with a hint of inertia. Human beings are very adaptive. They adapt to things and atmosphere very soon. Adaptation here is not necessarily what biologists define though. I mean, a person can add another layer over him/her to adapt to the new environment. Say Eskimos wear a huge fur coat to get protection from cold. They don’t actually grow hair like a bear for protection from cold. That is the physically tangible adaptation; one tangent in the discussion of adaptability. But we are not talking about that.
Man is an animal who has the power of choosing the response to any stimuli whether it is any external or internal mental turmoil. This has led to many things in tandem,

Power and Insecurity
Society and Obligations
Technology and Obesity

to name a few. The last one even though might seem funny is very true. Okay coming back to the adaptability part… Now I am talking about the human being’s mental adaptability quotient and the inertia associated with that. Well, why did I call it a quotient, here is the reason…

Inertia) Adaptability (Quotient
……. (Some factors)
-----------------
Prejudices/Compromises

This is how I think the mind handles the adaptability in a new environment or new idea, since we are considering the mental adaptability also.

A person is born in some atmosphere; he/she gets used to that and really adapts himself physically and mentally. Now the adaptability I am talking is the one when he/she moves out of that place which they are already adapted.
Let me give you an example to just show you what I am talking about.

Imagine a corporate training room; computers all around, geeks using them. Geeks are an interesting cult. They are masters of some technology and can talk hours about the same. Now imagine these people attending this training on a technology absolutely unknown to them. Something very new, which they had to learn as the business in which they are needed them to. After all, the bottom line is business!!! Okay let’s not get into that.
The instructor, another geek of course explains some concept, and then as the conventional education system demands; shoots a question at the geeks sitting in her class. One pretty young lady from the crowd gets up and tries to explain the concept. In the process she gives a beautiful analogy between this concept and a similar concept in the technology she is good at!!! The explanation is mind blowing. Everyone who is familiar with that technology is overwhelmed by the answer. You hear mild sounds of Bravo… Bravo… Etiquettes of course stop them from banging the desks!!!

Even though the lady understood the concept that was being explained, she did that only with reference to the existing knowledge that she had. Now do I wish to say that she is wrong? Well, well we are not here to make any judgments. We are just trying to make some sense of things that we see around us. It is important thing that one needs to look at in that example. A person once, he/she gets acquainted with something finds it hard to remove it from his mind when he/she is seeing something similar. A correlation is made with the existing thing in the mind and new “something”. That is a gift of nature bestowed upon us. This gift itself is what I name the INERTIA which defines the ADAPTIBILITY QUOTIENT. This gift can many times prove to be a handicap in learning new things; in adapting to new things.
I cannot make comments on whether it is good or bad in general; but as an individual I think we need to use this gift, this inertia in a good way. When learning something afresh, just concentrate on the new thing in its entirety as an independent thing; as if it has no correlation with anything in your mind. You have the gift to anyway assimilate faster. Now once you are through in understanding the new concept as an independent thing, now try to correlate. I have found the difference in this open way of exploiting the gift of inertia that we have. We can’t take out something out of our mind, but we do posses the power to prioritize. Why not leverage these two beautiful powers viz. The Inertia and The Prioritization; use them in tandem and increase our
A.Q….. Adaptability Quotient!!!!

Good Insignificance!!!!

“Amrya… You feel insignificant re there”….
This is what a friend of mine told me when we were talking about Mumbai.
It was a Thursday, a weekday when I went to Mumbai. It was hot and humid. I had a rendezvous with some friends of mine there.
I will just quickly outline some places and matter I encountered in Mumbai in the short stay of around 8 hours…

Dadar….VT…Church Gate….Fashion Street…Bargaining…Azad Maidan…Red Flag…Taxi… Marine Drive… Queens Necklace… BCCI…Local…..




Queen's Necklace

Well these just a few things I remember right now.
Usually when a person walks around in scorching heat and humidity greater than 50% he sweats likes a fish and is uncomfortable.
I did sweat but wasn't really uncomfortable.
Let me try to explain why I wrote that first line in the blog.
The pace at which Mumbai moves is awesome. I don’t know how people manage to move that fast. Like living in a matrix. Everything is programmed. I also had the first hand experience of the crowded local train. You need not have to push around to get down. Just stand in the queue of the passengers getting down at say Dadar and you will automatically get down the train. It is that simple.
Mumbai is a dangerous place is what everyone like to say, well for me it was a myth. I went to the marine drive and sat on the sea shore there watching the Mumbai traffic moving and trying to make sense. You look around and you are totally lost. There is a sea on one end of where I am sitting; the Arabian Sea and on the other side is the Mumbai sea; the sea of big and small cars, busses zooming around from all direction. The traffic never came to a halt. I sat there marveled by the pace; marveled by the gigantic seas. One full of water another full of people and cars and poor me am sitting in the middle of these two as if stranded in an island nowhere to go. Generally one must feel sad about this situation, but interestingly I liked this feeling. I liked being insignificant. As my friend put it, “I love being insignificant. It gives me a feeling that I can be better than what I am right now. I work harder!!!”
I could make sense of the first statement of this blog only when I felt insignificant and why my friend was so jubilant when she made that statement.
Mumbai for me for now… Rocks!!!!

And Suddenly....

Life was going down, there was darkness all around me and suddenly….
And Suddenly I saw Dawn…
I have been working for the most respected Indian IT company for almost 20 months now. In all these 20 months, my faith and respect for my company somehow kept on dwindling. I mean as an employee not as an investor of course.
I still remember, May 18th a Thursday. Bedi, Amit and I were standing near KD circle drinking tea. I got a call from a Bangalore number. She said, she is calling from SAP and would I be interested in an opening in SAP. I couldn’t make a split second decision. Fright or whatever stopped me. I said I shall let her know tomorrow. I was an asshole I must say!!! I remembered Anisha telling me about that. She had forwarded Sid’s and my resume to a specific department in SAP.
Anyway, even Bedi got the call. He immediately accepted. I being a paranoid first wanted to consult someone on that before taking decision. When will I stop depending!!!!
Okay, anyway I did call up Anisha and took a thorough interview about the department. I was satisfied. I thought now I will get a mail from SAP and I can reply saying I am interested. I felt good and went to Bedi’s house… I don’t remember the rest.
Next day, I sat in anticipation of the e-mail from SAP. Bedi had already received the e-mail. I was feeling like an ass. Somehow, I was thinking very clear. I took the mail id of the SAP contact from Sid and sent an e-mail stating my interest. To my luck I did get the reply back very soon. I thought, better late then never!!! It was decided…
We were going to Blore next day Saturday. I know how I spent the Friday. I wanted to read. Crap, I couldn’t read a single line. We did discuss about PLM a lot with Amit. This discussion really really helped a lot.
I will not go into the details of the interview at SAP. But to sum up next day was very hectic. After almost 10 hours spent in traveling, 21/2 hours at SAP and a great dinner at Parklane I was too exhausted to even think about anything. I slept off. I was in general happy about the way this Saturday went. I had a good feeling about it. But with my luck line vaporizing at the rate it was, I was very skeptical.
To my relief, finally I got the call from SAP saying that I have made it to the next round and I will have a final HR round. I was…; I still don’t know what I felt. I waaaas happy. But it was different. It’s the first time I have experienced that and I can’t really describe what I felt.
I was again in touch with myself; back to being a Narcissist in all rights. I loved the feeling.
Now a twist in the tale!!! I got a mail from my boss that I must initiate my UK Visa and I had a chance to go onsite!!! What??? Are you kidding me??? How can this happen? But it was true. I didn’t wake up from a dream or anything. I had really received the mail. I was at the crossroad where I could stick to the current company, go onsite (hopefully), earn money etc etc. On the other hand I had to take the risk of going into an unexplored territory. The dichotomy in my well wishers’ ideas; some, saying take up onsite (well there were very few though) and some, saying forget it, join the new company didn’t really help me make the decision. Then finally I decided to quit. Well there are many pros and many cons. For me obviously the pros over weighed the cons. I had lost the respect I had for this company and there was no point in staying. And really I didn’t see my future in PLM in the long run.
Finally, 29th May 2006, 11:38 AM I resigned from my current post. Then the usual formalities of keeping me in the company were executed. I am very thick skinned. Once I decide, it’s done!!!
So just in just a week everything changed. I was a different person. I had experienced something great. It was like Born Again to be free!!! Let’s see how long I can carry this feeling. One thing is sure, after this I will never loose hope!!! Because… “And Suddenly” everything changes… Just like that in a flash!!!!

Inertia!!!

There have been numerous blogs written on the current reservation ghafla that is going in in India. I had also wanted to write my views on it. But that hasn’t happened as yet. Anyway, I would like to narrate a small incident that happened on this Saturday (27th May 2006).
My cousin had come down to Mysore with her hubby and son for sight-seeing in Mysore. As usual I was the anchor!!! I have done that thrice in four weeks now. :):):) Cutting the big story short we went to many places and finally we landed at the grand finale Brindavan Gardens at around 1700hrs. The “Musical Fountain” which is by far the greatest tourist attraction in mysore was scheduled at 1900hrs.

So we roamed around in the park and finally arrived at the place where the show was to be held. Since we arrived early we occupied the steps that are meant for people to sit and watch the show. I forgot to tell you, we have to walk almost 800mts to reach this place from the entrance and vehicles are not allowed at this place. We were sitting and waiting for the show to start!!!
Then this happened. One Tata Sumo and a Toyota Qualis came up to the fountain and some 10 people came out of these vehicles. It was a big family. I was surprised as to how can vehicles be allowed to get into this area? It was not allowed and rules are rules. I wasn’t really angry but amused. But then the unthinkable happened. Since the steps were occupied, people were standing at the foot of the tank from where the fountain was supposed to start. There were a dozen police man. They asked some people standing in front to move back. Then these buggers, brought chairs… I don’t know form where and arranged them in the front row. The family that had arrived in the Sumo and Qualis started occupying the seats!!! I went wild!!! What the F*** was happening??? This is a public place? I was furious. I start babbling and my sis just smiled and kept quite. I was shaken. Just then the show started and I was caught in the grandeur of the fountain. We went back as soon as the show ended.

Interesting story with an absurd end right!!! But what can I do, that was the end and I wrote it that way. This is the problem with us I guess. Why didn’t I go and question the police men about the prejudice that I saw? Was it right on my part? Why didn’t anyone for that matter question this RESERVATION? Let me go a step further; is our legislature strong enough so that I can question such treatment of people?

Can we really change something? Do we have it in us to do what it takes to come out of our inertia, the Inertia to Change, to make a difference? If anyone can answer this then there is lot that can be changed and we will really be proud of present India and not just our History!!!

"कोइ भि देश Perfect नहि होता ...उसे Perfect बनाना पडता हैं!!!"
(No Country is perfect... We have to make it perfect)
Inquilab Zindabad!!!!

Ice Ice Baby!!!

After an exhausting day at work (ya ya take the ironic meaning) finally Sid and me decided to go home. It was already 5:45, and it was getting dark… Sid had purchased a new pair of shoes and I also wanted one. So we had planned to go to the city for shopping. I stood there outside the office gate, and looked at the sky. I had a funny feeling. I was going to wet my pants today.
Look at the beautiful sight of the sky and you will come to know why I said that.


Finally Sid came out, “Oyye.. Jaana hai kya? Baadal dekh”
“Thik hai… Kal chale jayenge.. Par thoda paise to nikal lete hai”
So we started towards the ATM. Suddenly it started. The Rain. Sid said…”I will give you the money… Let’s go now…”
We started towards Sid’s house. Suddenly it started raining so heavily that the rain drops felt like stones being belted on us. I was driving and I took the most blows, but my head was saved due to the helmet. I felt happiness, fright and pain at the same time!!! It was a great experience. I asked Sid just for formality whether we should stop… I knew his answer… We didn’t of course!!! How could we miss this thrill!!!
We decided, for some unknown reason, not to take the ring road and took the shorter but fairly kaccha route. One reason maybe that there were trees around and the rain droplets or better I will call them rain bullets’ belting on us might be reduced. We knew little what was in store for us on this route!!!
We crossed the sankranti circle(Don’t worry about where it is…) and were just around 500mts from Sid’s house. Suddenly we were caught in heavy wind… It was as if caught in the tornado… Dust and mud was thrown all over us and I was riding a bike which was swaying like a swing!!! (A spicy little exaggeration!!) I saw a small shop, a tapri, to be precise. I decided we had to stop there and we did so… My face was all covered with dust; foolishly I hadn’t pulled down the glass of my helmet. I could imagine what must have happened to poor Sid!!! Even though I enjoyed the feeling….
We stood there. Sid, “Abe tune ole dekhe hai”…
“What is the ole?”…
“Hailstones!!!”
“Ya ya…”, as I said this… I saw the ole dropping from the sky. I couldn’t hide the excitement. I told Sid that we will go into the rain and eat some ice. He protested, not for eating nor going into the rain, but said it will be more fun if we did that once we reach home… Later I came to know, that he also had to save his new leather shoes. So we climbed on the bike and headed towards his home. This was one of the most thrilling rides I have had in many months. The ice was hitting us with all force. We are going at a considerable speed also. All the memories of school came back when a hailstone hit my knuckle… I remembered, the days when we were punished for not doing homework by hitting on the knuckles!!! But this was different. It was my decision to get hit and enjoyed it thoroughly… I was shouting as the ice hit my chest and hands… Sid tried to cover and put his hand in front, his bad luck as he put his hand a hailstone hit his knuckle also and he shouted in pain but in happiness!!! Pain also can cause happiness!!! No philosophies now…
Finally we reached Sid’s home. I kept my wallet, some papers and removed my shoe and ventured into the icy rain and Sid followed. I ate lots of ice and got hit on the head by lots of ice. It was awesome….
Just look at one of my poses!!!


Look at Sid…. He said this is some “The Shawshank Redemption” pose….

Look at me again after drying myself. You can see my sweetie (Yamaha) also in the picture .
It was a beautiful evening spent in rain and Ice. It was an indulgence, and I enjoyed every moment of it. (ok… Before I meet the same fate as Kaavya Viswanathan, the above line was adopted from a statement of John Abraham in The Week)
It was a very refreshing feeling after a day’s exhaustive work!!!

Dreaming for a dream to come True

A paragraph taken out from the diary of my dreams….

Date: 09th Sep 2012…. A Beautiful Sunday….
It was 10:30PM…. It was my birthday and I was returning from my birthday party…
It was an awesome party… I had turned 30… My wife and my sweet daughter Prerna were also present with me… I drank quite a bit of wine so my wife was driving. Prerna was sleeping on my lap. It was an awesome party also due to the fact that I had met many old friends of mine. It was a real real surprise as it was just supposed to be a family party but my sweet wife had foxed me and had invited many of my friends.
Adi, Anil, Vicky even Ami had come down for the party. It was too much fun.
Every one of us had made a good fortune. We had money and status also. We all started drinking and I noticed that all was not well. We were not really content with life. So I decided to break the ice and said, “Hey guys… Remember RockSoft?”…
Adi and Anil started laughing at me… “You were supposed to be an entrepreneur by now” said Anil… A weak smile appeared on my lips…
“Saale…Kitna baat karta tha…” said Adi shaking his head…
“Amrya, Tu mujhe CEO banane wala tha na?” said Ami mockingly…
Vicky just smiled… I also just smiled and the topic was suddenly changed when Prerna started babbling something and suddenly I ceased to be center of attention…
Sitting in my comfortable car, I remembered all the occasions when I had bragged that I will open a company of my own… I thought it was time now…
As soon as we reached home, I carried Prerna and put her to bed… I took a cold shower and called all of my friends to meet me tomorrow for lunch… Everyone agreed for some mysterious reason even though it was a Monday …. I started thinking about the same things again that were troubling me for almost 2 months now. Will I be able to pull it off? Is it my cup of tea? I had the idea, but did I have the backing of my friends… Will my dream of RockSoft truly be fulfilled??? I decided to wait and see…

Right Reasons!!!

Today I read a article by Dr. Gopalakrishnan who succeeds Mr. Ratan Tata as Chairman of Tata Sons Ltd.,the holding company for many of the Tata blue chips like Tata Steel, TataMotors, Tata Power, Tata Chemicals, Voltas etc.
The article is titled “Deserve before you Desire”.
Some lines from the article in the “complete the story” format that people are so familiar with from childhood…

“The grass isn't always greener on the other side!!.............. Move from one job to another, but only for the right reasons……passé to work for one company for a sufficiently long period…………..getting a 200% hike…….going to send me abroad………Then, I look around at all the people who are considered successful today and who have reached the top ……..most of these people are the ones who stuck to the company, ground their heels and worked their way to the top……….there always comes a time for moving in most organizations……right reasons, rather than the superficial ones…….no company recruits for charity…….people leave their organizations because they are unhappy……do I come to work to be happy in the truest sense?....No".

I am sure you must have got the gist of the article by now. Don’t move from a company unless you have the right reasons. But, the point is, what are these right reasons?
a) Lack of Challenges?
b) Lack of work ethics or bad working environment?
c) Money has been termed as a superficial reason. Is it really that simple to ignore money?
d) Saturation level reached?

Well these were some thoughts that came to my mind. One interesting point the article makes is about the fact that we don’t come to work to be happy. This is Strictly Business as Godfather would have put it. It’s not about happiness or un-happiness. This line has influenced me a lot today and am sure it will change my outlook towards professional life.
Finally as Dr. Gopalakrishnan puts it….
Work hard so that you have the right to desire….
Work Hard so that you “Deserve to Desire”…

Talking to my Alter Ego...

Me: Why are some dayz bad and some good?
Antara: Stop cribbing now!!! You always cry…. Just because you didn’t like the way some conversation ended last night…rather morning…You didn’t allow me to sleep also, and just because your vehicle ran out of fuel you are crying?
Me:: But Antara, whom should I ask other than you? My ego is too large… I can’t ask nobody….
Antara: What do you want me to do?
Me:: Give me some answers…
Antara: The problem with you my dear is that you have selective memory. Lately you have been remembering only bad things and nothing pleasant. Why do want the answers? I mean No Day is good or Bad… Its just how you react to situations. You have been reacting very badly now a dayz…
Me:: What can I do… Everything is going haywire!!
Antara:: See sweetheart… Just think about it… Is it really that bad? Is it justified you hurting yourself for things not under your control?
Me:: But I am not hurting myself…..
Antara:: I haven’t slept for almost months now… You are always talking about something that is not worth giving the amount of thought you give it… I have tried consoling you so many times… but you have taken help of some things… I can’t mention it also…
Me:: I know Antara, I have been treating you rather badly.
Antara:: Stop cribbing again my dear. Who knows you better than me? Your affection for yourself and thus me has reduced. Once that is back… You will be back my dear…
Me:: But it is possible?
Antara:: Impossible was never in your dictionary! Get back to being what you are… The Narcissist… My Lover!!! My Worshipper!
Me:: I am trying and I need your help… You are all that I have…
Antara:: I am alive only because of you and I cease to exist the day you stop being what you are!!!
Me:: I Love you!!! Let’s start our Love Story again!!!

P.S. Antara is the person whom I talk to when I am down. My Inner Self with whom I have lost touch, and am trying to re-establish the connection!!!

A Contradiction!?

Today in the morning I read an article in TOI by Subroto Bagchi titled Life & Its Contradictions …
Let me quote some interesting things from it before I start….

“Faced with a contradiction, most of us usually look for the truth, instead of dealing with the contradiction itself. The truth is always much more comfortable. The difficult but inevitable thing in life is that the truth always reveals itself in contradictions. The packaging never gets any better.”

“Who must guide us in moments of indecision? The concept of the dialogue between Krishna and Arjuna is symbolic. Essentially, every one is part Krishna and part Arjuna. The Krishna in us is the voice of reason. The Arjuna in us is about the responsibility to act. Without one, the other is incomplete. Action without reason and reason without action are both inherently destructive.”

“The interesting truth is, when you clean the ink, it is just a transfer of the mess to another surface. In reality, it is impossible to clean anything in the world without making something else dirty in the process.”

When I read this, I was totally mesmerized by it. What he said made so much sense to me. It was happening to me. A Contradiction!!!

My contradiction about work:

My Principle: In any organization your work speaks for itself and you need not go around blowing horns about the work you do.
Reality: You need to do the latter and do it always. Blow the damn horns about your work.




I am or rather I must say “was” a narcissist. You can read that between the lines of my principle. Today I did the unthinkable. We have an automation tool in place for making some folder which is later sent to our onsite folks (For non-IT guys generally Onsite is a jargon used for people in the IT industry operating at client locations). I was supposed to use it from today. So I made some enhancements (For IT guys, I enhanced to get latest versions of files from VSS which is like a small script of say 5 lines thats all). Then I did what I thought I would never do. I mailed to the whole team about this enhancement; well okay that’s fine since the team needs to know about this… But then I mailed my Project Manager also!!! I don’t know why I did this. My principle says I must not do this and then I do it. Did my reading of the article trigger this? Did the Krishna in me outgrow Arjuna?
And then Do I still Love my self? If yes then how could I do this? These are unanswerable…
The truth is Reality Bites and bites hard. I know what I did is not considered wrong in the industry. But why am I feeling the guilt, the damn guilt that made me write this post?
???????...........
I don’t know…... hmmmm.....

Holi Hai….

Dam, Jalali, Bedi, Amit and Jeetu... Wild!!!!

Holi, the festival of colors, one of the most awaited festivals in India. I was also waiting for this festival. This is my first holi without my family. I did miss holgi (a sweet dish) that is specially prepared during Holi. But otherwise it was a great Holi this year. My holi celebrations started on the eve of the day of colors only.
We all…. Amit, Sid, Jeetu, Jalali and Sangu went to Amit and Jeetu’s place that night. We had decent food and then started playing cards. We played mandigoat… I don’t know whether I have spelled it right.. But it was too good… We played up to 2 and then slept off….



From Left: Santanu, Mayukh,Debu, KT, Amit
and Jeetu trying hard to come in the foto...

The big day of holi came…. I had brought my dress for Holi already….Colors were also arranged a prior. Even we had Bhang ready with us…. At around 10:30 in the morning KT and Sid came home… (Sid went home that night for mysterious reasons yet to be found out JJ)… They had been colored already…. We sat for some more time and then went out to eat something… After eating we first put colors on each other and then embraced each other shouting… “Holi Hai”… It was amazing… Suddenly I felt a gush of energy in me with all the colors on me… Then we went around KD road which was a waste… Then we decided to go back home… As we started to leave… I got a call from Mayukh saying that Debu is in his home… We all rushed to his home and Dam was colored from top to bottom… He was in santanu’s room… The room was all red, green, blue and what not… It was just too good…. Then we all decided we need to go to some water place… We decided to go to Balmuri… So all of us went to Balmuri… There was a long discussion as to where we will get down in water… Finally a consensus was reached… Half of us in very shallow water and half in pretty deep water…. At the end of if all were in deep water… The best part the swimming or whatever by Sid… He almost drowned me and KT with him!!!!... And then the expression on Amit’s face once he came from his daring venture into Kaveri river was too good to miss…. Mayukh and Sangu were the stars, swimming, diving and motivating me and jeetu to follow them… Finally we came out from the water and went to have tea…
I had started the process of “Tearing Clothes” on our way when I tore a piece from Sid’s kurta and tied it on my head… That was wild… But something more wilder was yet to happen… When we came for tea I continued the process by tearing amit’s RBK shirt and then Jalali’s shirt and then Sangu’s shirt also… How can then I be spared… Sid pounced on me and started pulling my shirt… But unfortunately, again I got hold of his kurta and tore some more part of it….. But then the in evitable happened… Everyone pounced on me and tore my shirt into pieces… Literally there was nothing left of the shirt!!!
Just take a look below…

On the bullet with my Torn Shirt... I drove my bike 15 Kms wearin this...

We went back home and had lunch… Jeetu prepared Bhang, which was pretty weak.. We all drank Bhang and started waiting to get high… Well it didn’t really happen… But for a brief fifteen minutes we laughed like crazy… was it Bhang or not I don’t know…
I never imagined Holi being so fun without family… It was a great experience… Thanks to all my friends... Grazie ..


Practising American Football...

Sleepless at 4 am

From my archive of lines that I write when I am really upset…

Sleepless at 4 am

25th Nov 2005, I am sitting in my bed and wondering “what am I doing?”
I look at time in my mobile. It reads… 4:00am!!!
I wonder what was I doing till all this time. I haven’t slept!!!
Then I remember I was thinking about life. What exactly? I don’t know… I just sat wondering what is going on in my life currently. Am I happy with the way I have treated myself? Where am I heading towards in the future? Do I have a goal? Do I have friends who care for me? What will my friends remember me as? What will my family remember me as?
God and what not… The point is why was I getting all these thoughts on that day and was sleepless. I have suffered from insomnia in my earlier years of life. But this was different. The answers I gave myself sent a chill down my spine!!! The questions have been troubling me since then every day in and day out. The answers are more frightening.
I have been seeing 4:00am on my clock almost every day.
I don’t know where this Insomnia is going to lead me!!!!

God help me!!!

God did help me I guess… Today it is 14th Mar 2006…. Its 104 days since I wrote this. I think back and wonder why I wrote this. I was upset because I was thinking about the things around me that were not under my control. Today as I write this, I still feel sleepless at 4 am, but there is a difference…. I am not frightened by the answers that I am getting to the questions I have now. I hope I am going on the right track….

Go on… And the Faith will return!!!!.....

Pan Wala

March 5th 2006…
Arif had come from banglore. So we decided to roam around play pool and then watch a movie. We went to watch Taxi No. 9.2.11. It was a 6-9 show. We were three of us; Arif, Anshu and me. So after watching the movie we decided to shop a bit and go to dinner. I suggested we go to Hotel Green. So we went there. First something about the Hotel. Hotel Green was a studio before named Premier Studio. This was the studio where the TV Soap “The Sword of Tippu Sultan” was shot. After a fire incident in which the producer Sanjay Khan also suffered severe burns; this Studio was converted into a Hotel. Okay lets get back to the mainstream. So we three sat and ordered for the food. It was already 10:20PM. I love pan (Beda). So I decided to get pans for all three of us. There is a pan shop in the hotel premises itself. So I went to this Pan Wala and asked him to make three pans. He said, that the pan chatni which gives the typical taste to pan is over and hence he cant make it. I said, I have to eat pan and so asked to make pan without the chatni.
So I am standing there and waiting for him to make the pans. He had the radio switched on and it was playing great Hindustani music. I love Hindustani music. It has always happened that I go to this shop and always Hindustani music is being played. So I commented on this. He said he is also a classical artist. I wasn’t really sure what to make of it. Suddenly he opened a container and out came the most beautiful flute I have seen in such close vicinity. It was a marvelous experience. I was elated to see the flute. It was a beauty. I asked him whether I can touch it. He obliged. My hands were shaking when I took that flute in hand. I handed it back as soon as possible. I was afraid I might spoil the beauty of the flute. The pan wala then played a piece for me. Even though it was not a great piece but surely it took me to cloud no 9.
Then we talked for 10 minutes more and one more surprise was waiting. The pan wala was from Orissa but knew kannada very well. He had studied in Gadag!!! Best part he had studied in Sawai Gandharwa Aashram…. I was startled. The pan wala had leant flute in the aashram where the likes of Pt. Bhimsen Joshi, Gangubai Hangal have learned there ABC of music.
I thanked him for the pan and went back to my dinner.
It was a great experience I had. So much of music is filled in nuke and corner of India. Just we need people to appreciate it. I will try my level best to do it.
I slept the most sound sleep in last 6 months that day!!!! Thanks to the Pan Wala!!!